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Uncle Joe Redefines MAGA: Make America the Gulag Archipelago

Joe Biden called his speech last week “The Battle for the Soul of the Nation.” Ha.

Try “The Battle of the Sole of the Nation.” The one Uncle Joe would put squarely on your neck.

Start with his description of so-called “MAGA Republicans.”

They “represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of the republic.” They “do not respect the Constitution” or “believe in the rule of law.”

They “refuse to accept the results of a free election” and “are working right now … in state after state to give power to decide elections in America to partisans and cronies.”

They would go “backwards to an America where there is no right to choose.”

They “fan the flames of political violence,” “embrace anger” and live “in the shadow of lies.”

All this from a champion of democracy who showed his “respect for the Constitution” by claiming “emergency powers” to casually cast aside potentially a trillion dollars in debt. And that the Supreme Court “expressly took away a constitutional right” found nowhere in the Constitution.

“Belief in the rule of law.” You mean countenancing a previously unimaginable raid on a former president, illegally lifting passports and privileged documents in the process?

A “free election?” Like one where his side is “free” to engage in autocratic changes to anti-fraud procedures and capitalize on Zuckerbucks to “give power to” progressive “partisans” to staff election offices and stuff unlawful drop boxes?

“Political violence?” Like cheering on “Ruth Sent Us” and “Jane’s Revenge” terrorists who threatened Supreme Court justices and their families and firebombed pregnancy centers? Not to mention looters and police-precinct arsonists who literally fanned flames from sea to blazing sea as Joe favored “redirecting” police funding and his veep dispatched bail money?

“Embrace anger?” As in “lying, dog-faced pony soldier,” “damn liar,” wanting to beat up Donald Trump, a “junkie” black interviewer, and most recently, an “idiot” heckler?

“Live in the shadow of lies?” From the “plagiarist” and “fabulist” whose repeated assertions, to take a recent example, that he knew nothing of his son’s business dealings were exposed as a whopper by the laptop he told upwards of 100 million Americans was Russian disinformation?

But we digress. The real issue: just how “MAGA” and “extreme” the 58% of independents are who either oppose Joe’s student loan power grab or aren’t sure, or the 36% who “strongly” or “somewhat” oppose his Stasi-style raid. 

Or the 45% of Americans who favor Roe’s reversal, with only 28% approving abortion after the 15-week cutoff date the Court upheld. 

Or the 40% of voters and 42% of apathetic non-voters who doubt the legitimacy of Mr. Sunshine’s election.

Those “working … in state after state to give power to decide elections in America to partisans and cronies?” Most call them “voters” (vs. Zuckerbuckers).

While those holding such views may not all represent majorities, they do embody relatively wide electoral swaths. Yet to Uncle Joe, they’re all “extremists” who “threaten the very foundations of the republic.”

We know what happens to such “threats.” They’re captured by “dozens of armed FBI agents and military-style vehicles,” broken by months in solitary confinement, then shocked with prison for “parading” around the Capitol, if they don’t commit suicide first. 

Hauled off airplanes in shackles. Intimidated by subpoenas.

Beleaguered by multi-front snooping, multiyear investigations, multiple impeachments, multitudes of politicized lawsuits, and multi-hour raids with agents poking in their wives’ underwear drawers.

And you’re next. “It is within our power… to stop the assault on American democracy,” Uncle Joe maintains.

You bet, when you are willing and able to weaponize, against your own people and political opponents, the judicial system; tech monopolies; Congress; hearsay whistleblowers from the Deep State; the intelligence and national security communities; the FBI; and the IRS with its new army of 87,000 and multi-billion-dollar war chest. Plus – coming attractions and the speech’s clearest message – the military.

Oh. You thought those Marines behind the counterfeit commander in chief were window dressing? Surely – if the window being dressed is that of opportunity, while in power, to turn the world’s (once) foremost fighting force loose on “extremist threats.”

Military leaders warmed up through transforming Washington into an armed camp and ruthless purges of “white supremacists” and vaccine deniers in their own ranks. Who knows what “emergency powers” will be cited to test tolerance for martial law?

This correspondent got the message, and to lapse into the first person, here’s the response: “Come get me, Copper.”

I know a PR opportunity, and relish the platform that persecution for my pro-MAGA views might give me (and this website). I have a law degree and friends in the profession to help me defend myself. 

Other than prison’s potential physical dangers, I might relish the rare opportunity for reading and reflection at taxpayer expense. And P.S. – next month can start drawing Social Security and have spent years downsizing enough to live on it.

Uncle Joe needs reminding that MAGA stands for “Make America Great Again,” not “Make America the Gulag Archipelago.” But if he fulfills the latter, this correspondent is resigned to a possible role as a poor man’s Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Bob Maistros is a messaging and communications strategist, crisis specialist and former political speechwriter. He can be reached at


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  • I realise we must “know the enemy ” by watching his every move, otherwise this invertebrate Adenoid Hynkel could be ignored for the garbage he is.I have the same reaction to Meghan Markle–both Walter Mittys; Reach for the remote and the vomit bowl simultaneously.

    • He may be an invertebrate but has the full force of government on his side and no scruples about using it outside of established and accepted “norms.” That was the not-so-subtle message.

      And is extraordinarily cynical: one strategy is to use ’emergency powers’ and get money out the door before he is slapped down in the courts. His ultimate ’emergency power’ is as Commander-in-Chief.

      I have no doubt he would and will cross that line if/when he thinks he can get away with it.

  • Keep in mind that Joe has degenerated into a sock puppet that just repeats what he’s told. His very revealing speech on the evils of Maga Republicans was amazing projection from whoever or whatever committee wrote it.

  • The fascist mentality consists of the following;
    i) Denial of fact – even to the point of creating ‘alternative facts’
    ii) Fear of difference
    iii) Belief in a controlling elite (no-one is in control of capitalism – that’s half the problem)
    iv) Belief that the press is somehow liberal or progressive – all the press is owned by centre-right and right proponents
    v) Suspension of normal rules of behaviour and belief in self-aggrandisement (“These classified nuclear documents – I declassified them” – you can’t do that it’s even stated by the NSA as to the guideline)
    vi) Belief that laws don’t apply to them (I could shoot someone in Times Square and no-one would dare arrest me and why do you have 3 tax lawsuits against you?)
    vii) Anti-intellectualism (what degree did you actually get Mr. Trump?)
    viii) Support from a base of the lower working class who have a lower IQ than the average member of the population

    Trump is most certainly a fascist, and unfortunately those who follow him ARE extremists who fell left behind by an economic system that gifted wealth to Trump and poverty to the rest of us

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