Issues & Insights

Punchin’, Punchy Joe Overshadowed By Nanny Nancy And Kindergarten Kamala

“It ain’t how hard you hit … it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward! That’s how winning is done!” — Rocky Balboa

There he is – our political Rocky, standing in the well before a joint (really, rather disjointed) session of Congress. 

“We all know life can knock us down, but in America, we never, ever, ever stay down. Americans always get up. … Tonight, I come to talk about … winning the future for America.”

Actually kind of inspiring, for a moment. Punchin’ Joe Biden at his best.

Wait a minute, though! Now it’s Kindly – and rather Punchy – Uncle Joe leaning over the podium. The anti-Trump so many brain-dead people voted for (though not nearly as many as was claimed) just for some relative peace and quiet. Speaking in soft, soothing tones, almost a gentle whisper. Offering a selection of goodies from his bottomless box of federal chocolates.

Want some candy, little boys and girls? How about some free government money (free to you, not to your grandchildren)? Gratis vaccinations? Food handouts and low-cost or complimentary health care? (Low-cost or complimentary to you, not to the middle-class folks paying $20,000 in premiums plus $13,000 in deductibles a year to subsidize it.) 

Not enough? How about some government-financed jobs? (For those not sitting home cashing unemployment checks for more than you earned at your actual work.) 

A pinch of “infrastructure”: ports, airports, rail corridors, transit lines, clean water, high-speed Internet? A splash of R&D cash as a slop to big corporations? A “resilient and fully clean power grid?” (Translation: a grid we can stuff with subsidized “green” energy that isn’t there when you really need it, like when it’s cold or hot, and overwhelm with charging stations for electric cars no one really wants.)

Or maybe a little real “infrastructure,” Kirsten Gillibrand-style? “Caregiving” in the form of government-financed home services for old people. “Child care” – cheap or free universal pre-school (so more moms can leave their kids at home). Not to mention free college.

And best of all? I’m getting all this free candy from your Rich Uncle Pennybags. Isn’t that right, Unc? Unc? Where did he go?

Suddenly, it’s Punchin’ Joe again. Taking on the Chinese (who can’t wait for us to cripple our manufacturing sector again with tax hikes and sell us taxpayer-subsidized green energy equipment in a sector they are dominating that they manufacture powered by coal-fired plants they are building by the dozens as we retire ours). The NRA (which is protecting non-existent 100-round magazines). Nasty Senate Republicans (who won’t take away those non-existent magazines or let in those really helpful immigrants sent our way by MS-13 and Mexican cartels). Billionaires who won’t pay their fair share (though the top 1% of taxpayers pay more in taxes than the bottom 90% combined).

But hold on. Is this night even really about Punchin’ or Punchy Joe?

Or about the “historic” pair – two masked ladies – looming behind and, both figuratively and literally, over him?

Think about it. As dictated by the speaker of the House and the cabal propping up, marching out and making rules for Punchy Joe, the night starts with a relatively tiny number of members from the House and the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body, plus a smattering of VIP guests, dutifully filing in, obediently sporting face protection. And then plays out with them sitting quietly in their assigned, appropriately social-distanced places.

Hmm. Stay in line. Keep your (insert appropriate item of clothing or protective gear) on. Sit quietly. Keep your hands (and yourself) to yourself. Give me that.

This isn’t Congress. 

Just as the vision handed to Punchy Joe to read by his handlers isn’t America. 

This is pre-school.

Presided over, in reality, by Nanny Nancy and Kindergarten Kamala – with Lecturing Lizzie Warren and Schoolmarm Sandy Ocasio-Cortez herding the lads and lassies from the rear, nodding in affirmation. 

Like our assembled solons, this gang of kindergarten cops now expects Americans to conduct ourselves like compliant, docile tykes in one big nationwide childcare. To fall into line and obey without question. To keep our distance, and our opinions to ourselves. To share our wealth, no matter how much effort or dedication it took to obtain it. To give up our guns, our rights, our freedom of movement, our place in line, our country. 

And to stop depending on our own ingenuity, innovation and industry and tamely take whatever goodies – or gruel – Nanny Nancy, Kindergarten Kamala, Lecturing Lizzie, Schoolmarm Sandy, and the rest of the crowd of radical feminists, race-baiters, climate activists and girlie men babysitting meek Punchy Joe deign to hand to us at the cost of our own treasure and liberty, and our children’s futures.

Their preschool vision of America was what Punchin’/Punchy Joe’s part-pep talk, part-lullaby and vaunted first 100 days were really about – and what the next 19 months at least will be at well.

The question: Will Americans sit there and take it as submissively as Wednesday night’s audience? Or will they get up – and win again?

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Bob Maistros

Bob Maistros, a messaging and communications strategist and crisis specialist, is of counsel with Strategic Action Public Affairs, and was chief writer for the Reagan-Bush ’84 campaign, three U.S. Senators, and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. He can be reached at

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